Neon Codex

Where digital meets classical.

Filtering by Tag: sadness

This, The Best of All Possible Worlds

I don't know how honestly I've ever written from my own perspective. By that I mean that I'm always using some form of abstraction; whether it's simply riffing on someone else's ideas, read in a novel or seen in a movie, or writing characters who are intentionally very different from me, especially so lately.

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Why None of Us Want to Be Alone

I feel bad, simple as that. The who or the how of it ceases to be important on a long enough timeline, these things happen to us all many, many times over the courses of our lives, and begin to bleed together without identity. A minor heartache at best—let's call it a disappointment. The feeling almost becomes like a shapeless, faceless abstract; like a force of nature that exerts itself upon your life every so often when conditions are right. Rains that pelt the rooftops, winds that rattle the shutters and windows, but you make it through. These black-and-white phases of life that tilt and skip off of the film track from some caricatured notion of 1920's German expressionism; the cold, grey planes of Fritz Lang, the dark, delirious ruminations of Murnau—a loneliness so complete it's almost romantic, a misery so perfect it's almost artful. The depths of it can become sort of ridiculous. This is not quite that, if anything this is that in micro, a small pang of heartache, of longing. 

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